How to Deal with Loneliness in a Long-Distance Relationship

Distance makes the heart grow fonder, but unfortunately, it can also make your heart suffer.

Long-distance love is full of bliss and excitement. However, unlike couples who live in the same city, lovers living miles apart could experience loneliness like no other.

It’s not all bad, though. Licensed clinical psychologist Steff Du Bois, Ph.D., explains that “longing is based on one's deep desire for someone or something, which can be positive” (Heid 2023).

However, the downside is that such a feeling arises precisely because you don’t have what you’re yearning for. If you leave this unchecked, it could eat up all the other good things in the relationship.

But when you know how to deal with loneliness, it won’t get the better of you and your partner. Instead, it could strengthen your bond.

Here are some tips on how to cope with this double-edged sword.

1. Know the reason for the distance

Sometimes, you may feel like dying because of loneliness. You curse the distance that separates you and your partner or blame the universe for playing against you.

But whenever you feel tempted to give up, remember why you should be apart. Perhaps it’s because of work or studies, or it’s not yet possible to travel or move closer to each other.

Whatever the reason, remind yourself that it’s for the good of the two of you and the relationship. The sacrifices you make now will bear good fruits in the future. Let this be your motivation to endure the loneliness.

2. Communicate regularly

Agree on a regular schedule for your calls. The length and consistency can differ from couple to couple. Some call each other daily, whereas others only do so a few times a week. Ideally, you should have a weekly check-in to keep each other in the loop and maintain intimacy.

Even if you can’t spend most of your time with each other, your regular schedule will inspire you, knowing you have something to look forward to. Also, consistency with your agreement fosters reliability and faithfulness—strongholds for any relationship.

3. Live your life

Your life doesn’t revolve only around your long-distance partner. Don’t neglect your personal growth and other significant relationships.

Pursue your dreams, see your friends, and have fun. This is part of learning how to deal with loneliness, so there's no need to feel guilty. The more you live your life, the better person you’ll be for your partner.

Also, your goals and activities will give meaning and encouragement to your day. Don’t treat them only as consolation or distraction. Fully invest yourself in your responsibilities to become more determined to make your relationship persevere.

4. See each other

Don’t allow the distance to last too long. Strive to meet each other in person as often as possible. For some, that could be once a week, while for others who live farther from each other, that could mean once every few months or longer.

Regardless, seeing each other now and then refreshes you from the difficulties of your separation and strengthens your resolve to conquer the challenges.

Acknowledge Your Loneliness

Missing someone you love is bad enough. But to feel this way over long periods can be torture. When the going gets tough, be honest about your feelings.

Feeling lonely in a relationship isn’t a weakness. On the contrary, acknowledging it will help you know how to deal with loneliness and make you more courageous in facing it.