Penny Dating Is Toxic, but Here’s What You Can Learn from It

Penny dating—this manipulative relationship trend has been making the rounds on social media and wreaking havoc on oblivious hearts.

The premise is that someone heavily invests in their partner during the initial stages of their relationship. When they have them on the hook, they slightly withhold their effort.

If their partner reacts negatively, they raise their input again, but not as high as the initial investment. When their partner calms down, they also lower their investment.

The cycle continues, weaning their partner to settle for the bare minimum, aptly termed “pennies” because of its similarity to slowly adding money to a piggy bank.

Unfortunately, the penny dating method itself isn’t new; only the name is.

However, just because it’s long been happening in the dating world doesn’t mean you should do it as well so you can have someone to stick by you.

The penny dating trend isn’t something to emulate, especially if you want a healthy and loving relationship. It has no semblance of genuine love. Instead, practice the opposite.

1. Be sincere.

Be clear about what kind of relationship you seek and what you’re willing to offer.

Moreover, don’t just put your best foot forward. Allow your partner to get to know you as you are, including your flaws and weaknesses.

Also, avoid doing things just to please them. If you have different opinions, respectfully disagree, but try to understand their perspective and be open to compromise.

Authenticity and honesty will make your relationship stronger than lies and manipulation ever will.

2. Practice open communication.

Understandably, you always want to show your best self. However, you’re imperfect just like anyone else, and bad days happen.

Whether it’s because of struggles at work, health, or finances, you can’t avoid moments when you can only give a percentage of your usual effort.

When this happens, talk to your partner. Avoid bottling everything yourself, as doing so will only unnecessarily worry them.

Let them know what you’re going through and that you’re sorry for its effects on your relationship. Assure them you’re not losing interest but need more time to attend to your challenges.

Such transparency protects your relationship and increases intimacy as you support each other.

3. Date for love, not for relationship benefits.

Don’t date someone to gain something from them—whether that’s pleasure, attention, or affection. These things naturally come up in a romantic relationship, but they’re not the goal, unlike in penny dating.

Be in a relationship because you genuinely care for them. Contribute to their happiness and be willing to sacrifice, knowing they will do the same for you.

Treat them with selfless love; anything short of it isn’t love at all.

Learn to Give and Take

With penny dating, you aim to take advantage of your partner while giving them as little as possible.

However, love involves give-and-take. Don’t serve only yourself, but also seek what’s good for your partner and relationship.

Work with them to nurture these values to gain a love that’s so much greater than what you invested.