Text Etiquette When Dating Women: Tips and Advice

Man on his phone, trying to practice basic text etiquette when dating Observing basic text etiquette when dating women matters.

Are you the kind of person who observes table manners? Like saying grace before eating, chewing with your mouth closed, not putting your elbows on the table, and so on?

Just like table manners and dating etiquette, there is something called text etiquette when dating women. This applies to how you text women before and after a date. Because believe it or not, this can affect a woman’s impression of you.

Text etiquette can be practiced with your friends, family, and even people you’re dating, but each practice is different from the other.

Text etiquette when dating is more centered on consistency and time, but it’s not as complex as you think.

Think of it as going out on a first date, but virtually. In this day and age, some people engage in texting on their phones to get a feel of the person they’re supposedly dating.

While you don’t have to deal with the same amount of anxiety as you would on a date face to face, there are some basic tips to keep in mind so you don’t end up saying the wrong thing, making a false assumption, or implying something different than what you really mean.

It’s the same as observing basic dating etiquette for guys where you have to be on time or pull up a chair for your date.

In this case, it’s just you and your phone.

Why Should I Observe Text Etiquette When Dating Someone?

Online dating has become a growing trend in the modern dating scene. The world is a big place, and sometimes, we want to connect with someone from a different culture, or someone who shares the same interests and goals as us. A simple click or tap can match us with people from all around the world.

Once you find a match, you either hit them up, or vice versa, and if things go well, you end up texting each other regularly. Naturally, both of you want to get to know a little bit about each other before you decide to meet in person.

Just like in dating, you observe manners throughout your communication with this person so you can build a connection and see if a relationship is worth pursuing.

The same principle applies even when you’re already dating someone and communicating with them through text when you’re not together. There is also an art to texting someone, especially if you care about them. Subconsciously, you choose your words carefully and try not to sound impatient, rude, or uninterested.

Choice of words, the tone of your message, emojis, and idiomatic expressions, these are all a way to convey how you feel or what you’re thinking. And when you’re dating someone, you don’t want to give them the wrong idea.

Someone holding a phone, figuring out an average text response time Be mindful of the ideal average text response time when texting with your date.

What Are Some Basic Text Etiquettes to Observe?

Learning the basics of texting someone you’re dating can help in how you communicate with them when you’re together physically.

Say you had the guts to ask for someone’s number, but you’re not sure how to start the conversation. Would you know the basic manners to approach this?

Don’t lose heart because here are some tips for basic text etiquette when dating someone.

Tone and Language

If you want to leave a good impression, don’t start off using disturbing or derogatory language in your text. Maybe you’re excited to get to know them and you want them to know by texting them something like “I’m so fucking excited to get to know you!” or “I think you’re fucking awesome!”

Try to avoid this.

Other than your language and choice of words, be mindful of your tone. You don’t want to sound too bossy, manipulating, formal, or worse, self-centered. Keep your tone casual and light, and go with the flow of the conversation.

Average Text Response Time

There’s no “grace period” for replying to someone through text. The same goes for when you initiate a conversation.

Don’t worry about text response time etiquette. It’s better to give yourself time to absorb the information that was given to you and compose a response.

A few minutes or two is good to keep the conversation going or give appropriate time for the other person to think of a reply. Always be patient, and leave room for the possibility that they may be busy or something comes up.

If you get left on read, don’t jump to conclusions. This just gives you texting anxiety, and you don’t want that. We all have a life to live, so live your life and don’t waste your time wallowing in anxiety.


Be sensitive to the topics or discussions you’ll be having through text. There will be times that you won’t be on the same page, and it might lead to an argument rather than a deep conversation. People have their perspectives, and being open about them will help you learn to navigate the discussion.

Text etiquette sounds like a hassle, but it’s not as complex as you think. As long as you give respect and practice good manners, you won’t have to worry about texting the woman you’re interested in.

4 Simple Tips for Texting Someone You're Dating

woman on her phone, observing text etiquette Basic text etiquette should be observed even when you’re already dating someone.

Now that you’ve got the basics covered, try to put them into practice.

Text her first.

There is no rule of thumb as to when you should respond to a text or start a text. If you’re interested in her, then go shoot your shot. There’s nothing to lose when texting someone first, and you shouldn’t be making a big deal about it. Don’t dillydally and make the first move.

Try to see if she’s interested.

You don’t want to waste your time on someone who isn’t interested in you, so learning to manage your time and expectations is something that you should always practice.

Getting short or empty replies is a sign that she isn’t interested in you. It’s better to move on from this than invest your time in someone who isn’t willing to connect with you.

If you force a connection, she might end up ghosting you. Know when your conversations are going nowhere and learn to find other opportunities.

Texting boundaries in relationships.

Never be pushy even through text. Always respect the other person’s space. Women don’t like it when people pry into their private lives too often. Wait for her to share about her life, and she’ll greatly appreciate your patience.

Pressure can also cause texting anxiety. The woman you’re texting might feel like you’re trying to invade her privacy or that her boundaries are not being respected. To avoid that, talk openly about setting boundaries and know when to set them.

If you feel like she’s comfortable texting about a certain conversation, then compromise for her or try to reach a level of mutual understanding.

Be creative.

Getting creative in your conversation can lighten up the mood and make texting fun. Adding emojis can give your text more emotion and personality.

A simple smiley face can emphasize how you’re feeling while texting the person you’re interested in.

Just remember not to go overboard with the emojis. It will seem overwhelming and messy for a casual conversation. You don’t want to scare her away with a lot of emojis in a single text. So use emojis responsibly.

What Not to Do When Texting Someone You're Dating

Woman on her phone who seems to have texting anxiety Overwhelming your date with one text after another may give them texting anxiety.

You don’t want to raise any flags when you’re texting someone you’re interested in. That being said, here’s what you should avoid doing when you’re texting them.

Overwhelming her with too many messages.

You don’t want to overwhelm women with multiple texts at the same time or, in other words, double texting after being left on read. This will show how rude and inconsiderate you are for not giving her enough time and space to make a response.

You might also end up looking too “high-maintenance,” so always observe text etiquette response time.

Avoid using too many abbreviations. Not all people know texting abbreviations, and sometimes using too many of them will make your text confusing. Limit your abbreviations and aim for clarity. If the person you’re texting is confused, simply explain it to them and be more mindful going forward.

Sending derogatory and disturbing content or replies.

Always watch your language. Even if you don’t mean to sound rude, using foul words may result in misinterpretation. Never assume that using profanity or offensive words is okay with the person you’re texting. This will make them feel uncomfortable and disrespected.

Instead, practice using your words with respect and kindness.

Also, avoid sending disturbing content or replies. This includes sending graphic or nude pictures and emojis with hidden meanings.

If sexting is involved, be mindful of boundaries and practice consent. Then again, this might not apply to you if you just started dating the person. But it’s just as important to keep this in mind, no matter what dating stage you’re in.

Too many spelling and grammatical issues.

Make sure to reread your text before sending it. Grammatical errors can cause confusion and it may also give the wrong impression. Like you’re not making the effort to check what you’re texting the other person.

This can also cause miscommunication. Always text with clarity and a clear state of mind to avoid this.

Steer clear of using too much punctuation as well. This will make your text messy and unclear.

Be cautious of capitalization. Using all-caps can imply that you’re yelling or being rude and angry through text.

A clear text message is like having a clear mind. So always practice clarity when speaking your mind so you can text better with the woman you’re interested in.

Refrain from these texting habits and you’ll soon be a master of text etiquette when dating women.

The digital world has evolved in so many ways, and that includes texting, chatting, and video calling. These modes of communication make it easier for us to get to know someone virtually, and it’s about time that we improve our digital communication skills with simple text etiquette and dating tips.

Remember, following basic text etiquette when dating women shows that you are responsible and respectful towards ladies.

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